stupidity

I silently in love

hi.. blogger is back ..!! mm..  yup.. it's called stupidity when you like someone , and you try to tell him/her about your feel.. but you don't know how??.. they don't know you, then they're silently hurt your feeling .. so, you'll sad and insecure sometimes ... you thought that  him/her are yours .. you feel no one can like him/her except you.. you think that you will get him/her soon.. you think about him/her till the night ends , listen to the music that can remind you about him/her .. look at his/her photos..  yes! it's all about him/her , right??.. now, I'm starting to realize that I do not qualify for A *** .. Last Wednesday , I befriending with a girl called Nadiatul.. she's are good looking , behave , sweet , cute , and so on .. yup! in a few days, I like to hang out in her room because her roommate will be moving out soon .. so she will be alone,..honestly, i don't like her.. but my roommate a.k.a fakes family have good relationship with her..so they want me to befriending her .. furthermore , she's also study accountancy at Pahang Matriculation Collage just like me.. wow.. I'm shocked because i just know that Nadiatul and A*** were in same lecture group.. Nadiatul told me that she have A***'s phone number .. I ask her, how's she got it ?.. then she answer me..
" ooh..A *** ask my phone number trough his friend!, He tried to contact me with make a "missed call", then I call him .. I asked him, "Who are you?" .. and he refused to introducing himself .. he said that he was afraid if I do not want to be friends with him after I knew who he was .. then, I said, "I like to make friends with everyone and I do not care about their background" .. finally, he admitted that he is A *** " 
thanks a lot Nadiatul.!!!! now, my heart just like a broken glass.. T_T ... so, I stop talking to Nadiatul.. then i said that I wanna back to my room..I run very fast in tears ..after that, I went into the closet and cry ..
I feel that I am stupid enough.. I delete everything about him.. his timetable , his picture ... and memory about him..so that i will be happy again.. but honestly,, it's not working at all..I become more insecure.. so hard to ignore him.. so hard to breath , so hard to smile.. I never wanted this happen to me....
p/s: A*** .. if you read this.. I just want you to know that I really hate this situation ...:( .. i can't accept this..