stupidity

I silently in love

hi.. blogger is back ..!! mm..  yup.. it's called stupidity when you like someone , and you try to tell him/her about your feel.. but you don't know how??.. they don't know you, then they're silently hurt your feeling .. so, you'll sad and insecure sometimes ... you thought that  him/her are yours .. you feel no one can like him/her except you.. you think that you will get him/her soon.. you think about him/her till the night ends , listen to the music that can remind you about him/her .. look at his/her photos..  yes! it's all about him/her , right??.. now, I'm starting to realize that I do not qualify for A *** .. Last Wednesday , I befriending with a girl called Nadiatul.. she's are good looking , behave , sweet , cute , and so on .. yup! in a few days, I like to hang out in her room because her roommate will be moving out soon .. so she will be alone,..honestly, i don't like her.. but my roommate a.k.a fakes family have good relationship with her..so they want me to befriending her .. furthermore , she's also study accountancy at Pahang Matriculation Collage just like me.. wow.. I'm shocked because i just know that Nadiatul and A*** were in same lecture group.. Nadiatul told me that she have A***'s phone number .. I ask her, how's she got it ?.. then she answer me..
" ooh..A *** ask my phone number trough his friend!, He tried to contact me with make a "missed call", then I call him .. I asked him, "Who are you?" .. and he refused to introducing himself .. he said that he was afraid if I do not want to be friends with him after I knew who he was .. then, I said, "I like to make friends with everyone and I do not care about their background" .. finally, he admitted that he is A *** " 
thanks a lot Nadiatul.!!!! now, my heart just like a broken glass.. T_T ... so, I stop talking to Nadiatul.. then i said that I wanna back to my room..I run very fast in tears ..after that, I went into the closet and cry ..
I feel that I am stupid enough.. I delete everything about him.. his timetable , his picture ... and memory about him..so that i will be happy again.. but honestly,, it's not working at all..I become more insecure.. so hard to ignore him.. so hard to breath , so hard to smile.. I never wanted this happen to me....
p/s: A*** .. if you read this.. I just want you to know that I really hate this situation ...:( .. i can't accept this..

you are friend of mine

yup.. Rainny is here..  and i got a bad day, right?  Actually, something happened to me yesterday .. :( .. I got some argue with my dearest classmate ,Naji ( that I'd mention in my previous post ) .. it's awkward when we're being separated each other .. but, Naji sent me a message last night.. he said that he knew.. he was wrong.. this is what he sent to me :

"Rainny.. this is my last message.. before I fall asleep , before I'm goin' to die , I'm sorry so much.. i just want to makes fun of you , I don't know if it could be so serious ..hurmmm..no matter what is it, I'm really sorry.. I'm so afraid to looking at you just now..after this, I'll not talking to you anymore.. I'll not kidding you anymore.. anyway ,  i knew that you're really hate me.. you expecting me and Rahim was same , right?.. who makes you felt uncomfortable in the class.. OK, you can act like I does not exist in the class anymore.. bye!"


Najmuddin Ishak..!! you are friend of mine...I'll never hate you.. there is no where to look for someone like you?.. you're the funniest boy that I ever met.. who makes me laugh , touching , sad .. whatever.. OK, I do , I forgive you.. next time please don't do the same ..!! I don't like it..  I just hate Rahim actually.. cause he always used to put his feet in the others shoes my shoes.. :P Naji... we're friend right???

him

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Bangunan Bilik Tutorial KMPh

sorry, this post are in Malay ...

hai semua.. mesti korang semua nak tahu kenapa aku upload pic kat sebelah nie kan.. ! ni la bangunan BT yg aku pegi study tiap2 hari ..kcuali weekend la ..haha.. ehem .. sebenarnya.. A*** ada kat dalam BT kat depan aku ambek pic nie .. mase nie, dia tengah study kot .. study Math ..hihi.. cm ne aku tahu erk??.. ade la.. dia pkai baju kemeja hijau .. comel sangat.. :) .. pic nie aku ambek smlam (jumaat) mase tgah tunggu bilik tutorial mane yang kosong sebab kitorg nak guna ..

ehem.. sebenarnya.. aku nak tulis pasal A*** .. aku dah ade tulis pasal dia sebelum nie kat post "all about him" ..hari tu , aku ade selisih ngan dia mase perjumpaan LDK .. dia pakai baju T hijau & dia pegang buku kolej warna hijau jugak.. aku jalan ngan ekin mase tu.. actually, aku dah nak belok pegi BT aku la.. sebab aku nampak dia.. ekin suruh aku jalan straight supaya aku selisih ngan dia ..huhu.. yes!! dia tengok aku mase tu.. aku jalan slumber je .. wat dunno ..tp, dalam hati.. bunga2 doe..haha.. aku sengaja bagi dia nampak aku sebab aku kan kawan ngan dia kat Facebook .. so , aku nak dia sedar kewujudan aku kat Kolej Matikulasi Pahang ni.. semoga dia perasan yg aku selalu 'poke' dia kat Facebook ..hihi

hari tu pon berlalu ~~~

selasa lepas N call aku sebab dia dpat Free call ( birthday dia 2 disember lepas) .. lame jgak kitorg berbual, padahal tiap2 hari aku duduk kat sebelah N kot ..haha .. ntah la.. knape bleh tetibe aku tercakap pasal A*** kat N .. opppsss.. bodoh jugak tindakan aku ni kan!..
alamak ... N dah tahu yang aku minat kat **** .. N kawan ngan A*** sebenarnya ... :( .. aku takut rahsia aku kantoi la... tapi , N cakap yang **** dah tahu yang aku minat kat A***.. tapi .. macam mana dia tahu erk??? .. nampak sangat ke yang aku minat kat dia??? ke dia bace blog aku?? ahh.. x mungkin la .. online facebook pon dia jarang ..
Nie perbualan aku ngan N :

N : weh.. ko suka kat sape ar ?? x kan la matrik yg besar ni , ko x de minat kat sape2 kot?
Aku : .. ahh.. x de langsung .. tlong la... :p .. (menipu)
N : ckap la weh.. aku taw .. mesti ade ko suka kat sape2 an an an...
Aku : x de la... mmmm.. Minat ? ade la ..
N : .. sape? .. A*** ? ..

hurmm...  mase N teka betol tu la.. aku mengaku ...

Aku : mm... dia kenal aku x?
N : ... lah .. kenal sangat.. aku dah tunjuk gambar ko kat dia hari tu ..eh, dalam 2-3 hari nie ko ade selisih ngan dia x?.. sebab dia ade citer kat aku yang dia nampak ko ...

*O* ...OMG!!! dia kenal aku ke? dia tahu nama aku ke ? dia cam aku ke ? dia tahu yg aku sekelas ngan N ? dia tahu aku kuliah 1? .... once again.. hati aku bunga2... tapi aku cover la suara aku mase tu

 Aku : weh . mase study week tu kan .. yg ko call aku tu .. A*** ke yg cakap ngan aku ??
N: a'ah .. yela.. tapi aku yg call ... pastu A*** ckap.. "meh2 sini phone tu , aku nak cakap .."
Aku : oooo... jadi dia betol2 kanl aku ? (padahal ... lepas tu aku x leh tido sebab dengar suara dia)
N : yeeee.... dia ckap, ko slalu 'poke' dia kat Facebook ...
Aku : .. kenape? .. dia x suka aku 'poke' dia ke?
N : ntah ..dia diam je ...
Aku : mmm. dia ade awek x??
N : .. loh?! banyak giler awek dia... kat matrik ade, kat kampung dia ade, kat skolah dulu ade, kat kampung mak dia ade, kampung ayah dia ade .. kampung aku pon dia ade..kat Kuantan lagi la ade...
Aku : ........ (speechless)
N : hello.. hello ..? ade org x?
Aku : ........ ( not even sound of breath )
N : .. haha.. ko sedih erk ??.... aku main2 je la ... die x de awek... die mane minat ngan awek2 nie ..
Aku: yela tu...
N : betol la.. ko pernah tgok die ckp2 ngan prempuan x? .. xde kan...

aku sengeh sorang .... :P ..

N : aku dah citer kat dia , pasal ko .. dia ckp " ..cantik jugak !!" ...
N : semua yang aku tahu pasal ko , dia tahu ...  perangai ko macam mane kat kelas .. perangai kat luar ..
Aku : .. N!!! kanpe ko citer ?? .. aku bukan budak baik ... aku nakal ..
N : so ?? berubah la ...

ok2 ... aku dah nak berubah la nie ...

mmmm... dah panjang berjela post aku kali nie ...  aku harap dia x bace ... sebab aku malu malu malu malu sangat kalau dia tahu ... sepanjang tulis pasal dia nie , aku dengar lagu "Cinta Muka Buku " .. ntah la .. kenapa aku ingat kat dia bila dengar lagu nie .. walaupon x de kena mngena pon kan..  ok , la.. aku dah penat menaip nie.. :P .. bye !